Honestly? SEC football is basically a runway show! Big personalities, expensive taste, and way too much drama for a Saturday afternoon. So let’s skip the stats and do what really matters: figure out which handbag your favorite SEC team would be.

Alabama: Chanel Classic Flap

The dynasty. The icon. The bag that your mom, your grandma, and your little cousin all know about. Alabama is timeless and reliable; no matter how many other trends emerge, it always finds its way back into the spotlight. Sure, everyone has an opinion on it (too basic! too dominant!), but deep down you know you’d still flex one if you had it.

Georgia: Hermès Birkin

Right now, Georgia is the bag. Hard to get, everyone’s chasing, and when you finally see one in real life, you can’t help but stare. The Bulldogs have that “freshly polished leather” glow of a program on top of the world. A little intimidating, but that’s part of the vibe. You don’t carry a Birkin, a Birkin carries you.

LSU: Saint Laurent Sparkly Clutch

Flashy. Party girl. Unapologetically extra. LSU is the Saint Laurent clutch dripping in sequins, ready to go out until 4 a.m. and still make it to brunch the next day, put together as ever. Maybe it’s not the most practical for daily use, but who cares? It’s unforgettable, dramatic, and guaranteed to turn heads (even if it sometimes fumbles your phone and lip gloss).

Kentucky: Jacquemus Mini Bag

Adorable. Quirky. Maybe not always the star of the show, but when Kentucky makes an entrance, you notice. It’s small but mighty, unexpected upsets, a little flair, and lots of personality. Is it practical? Not really. Is it fun and Instagrammable? Absolutely.

Florida: Louis Vuitton Neverfull

The Gators are that bag you swore you’d retired in 2014… and yet, here she is, still hanging on your arm. The Neverfull had its peak era: iconic, coveted, borderline overexposed. And Florida football totally gets it. The magic is still there, but it’s mixed with a bit of nostalgia and a lot of “remember when we were unstoppable?” Everyone’s just waiting for her to reinvent herself and trend again.

Tennessee: Prada Re-Edition Shoulder Bag

Trendy, colorful, and suddenly everywhere. Tennessee is the bag that had a comeback out of nowhere, and now everyone’s like, “Oh, wait, she’s kinda cute again.” Bright orange might not be everyone’s vibe, but it’s bold, it’s fun, and it screams main character energy.

Texas A&M: Balenciaga City Bag

Expensive. Chaotic. A little messy, but undeniably fascinating. Texas A&M is giving “I paid way too much for this, and I’m going to make sure you know it.” Sometimes it works, sometimes it’s confusing, but at least it’s never boring. Plus, that fan culture? Very much Balenciaga vibes.

So whether you’re a timeless Chanel or a chaotic Balenciaga, SEC football is proof that fashion and fandom are basically the same thing: it’s all about the drama, the flex, and the vibe check.

If SEC Teams Were a Designer Handbag