Hot Dogs prepared in different ways ready to eat. (Getty Images)

Every year, when July 4th rolls around, while you’re deciding between red stripes or blue stars for your outfit, a very different kind of athleticism is happening in Coney Island: the Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like. And yes, it may be the most unhinged American tradition we’ve ever produced…and that’s saying something.

But behind the ketchup stains and meat sweats is a surprisingly iconic history. Let’s dig in.

A Brief History

The legend goes that the first Nathan’s contest was held in 1916, allegedly started as a friendly bet among four immigrant men arguing about who was more patriotic. And nothing screams "America" like aggressively eating 30 hot dogs in one sitting. While that origin story is almost definitely fake, the contest itself is very real. Fast forward to the 2000s, and suddenly, competitive eating became a thing. Enter Takeru Kobayashi, a tiny Japanese man with shredded abs and a stomach of steel. He revolutionized the sport by dipping buns in water and breaking records with an eight-pack. He turned what used to be a glorified backyard dare into a legitimate televised sport. Now? It’s an ESPN event with commentators, sponsors, and a freakishly loyal fan base. Think the Super Bowl, but everyone’s bloated and cheering for digestive dominance.

Miki Sudo holding a trophy at Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest (Leonardo Munoz/Getty Images)

The Current Champ: Joey Chestnut

Joey Chestnut isn’t just a guy who eats hot dogs; he’s a living legend. Joey Chestnut is the Tom Brady of hot dogs. The GOAT. The gulp god. Since 2007, he’s won the Nathan’s contest 16 times, and in 2021, he set a world record by eating 76 hot dogs AND buns in 10 minutes. No, that’s not a typo. That’s just... biology doing unspeakable things. A girl can only dream. He doesn’t just eat, he trains with fasting, liquid diets, and practice rounds involving actual weights to stretch his stomach. It’s giving… Olympic-level commitment, but for buns. After a one-year hiatus due to a sponsorship dispute, he is returning to the competition.

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Would Hot Girls be Good at This?

Actually… yes. And here’s why:

First of all, the hot girl skillset already overlaps with elite competitive eating energy:

1) Discipline (she’s been on a juice cleanse before, this is nothing)

2) Endurance (she once danced in heels for four hours straight)

3) Toxic determination (she will win if her ex is watching)

Plus, competitive eaters don’t “just eat.” They train, often in ways that mirror actual sports. And let’s not forget, hot girls know how to commit to a bit. If there's a trophy, a sash, or even a chance at going viral? She’s locked in. She’s unbothered. She’s applying lip gloss between bites.

Also, fun fact: there is a women's division, and it’s dominated by Miki Sudo, who holds the female world record with 51 hot dogs.

Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest (Major League Eating)

Which Athletes Would Dominate this Sport?

Nikola Jokić:

He does not want to be here. He’s visibly annoyed. But that doesn’t stop him from mechanically inhaling 27 hot dogs while barely looking up. No theatrics. No breaks. Just raw, Eastern European efficiency.

Hot dog count prediction: 27

Vibe: Accidentally wins. Leaves before the trophy ceremony.

Travis Kelce

Brings the energy of a frat house and the metabolism of a golden retriever. He’s high-fiving the crowd, double fisting ketchup packets, and making eye contact with the camera like it’s a reality show confessional. Bonus: probably starts chanting “U-S-A” halfway through.

Hot dog count prediction: 49

Vibe: Tailgate legend. Definitely celebrates with a beer and a backflip.

Serena Williams

Locked in from the jump. She's got strategy, stamina, and zero patience for nonsense. She’s not talking, not smiling, she’s just dominating. When she finishes, she stands up, wipes her mouth with a napkin like it’s the Met Gala, and says, “Who's next?”

Hot dog count prediction: 38

Vibe: The GOAT of everything. Including this.

Sha’Carri Richardson

Wearing lashes, jewelry, and a fire-colored wig. She turns this into a full-blown performance. Competitors are distracted. She’s vibing. She’s chewing. She’s winning. And she absolutely brought her own custom bedazzled water cup.

Hot dog count prediction: 35

Vibe: Hot Girl Coach. Mentally stronger than everyone

The Hot Dog Eating Contest is messy, dramatic, and deeply unserious, which is precisely what makes it so iconic. It’s weirdly empowering, a little gross, and somehow the most unfiltered, unhinged display of American athleticism. And honestly? There’s nothing more hot girl than showing up in full glam and deciding, “Yeah, I could eat 40 of these. W

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